Saturday, June 12, 2010

Apple iPhone 4G

So there's a lot of buzz about Apple's new iPhone 4G, and the way I see it the phone will provide a major boost for three industries.

1) Pornography. Hands down the Apple iPhone 4G will be a major boon for the phone sex segment of the porn industry. The capability of broadcasting a live stream of smut through a fee heavy, fly-by-night, 1-900 number is so enticing for this industry it will create a massive load on the AT&T network. Without a doubt this will make it hard on other services and industries to compete for network airspace.

2) Abortion Clinics. Apple has, in one potentially cataclysmic development of technology, provided teenagers with a means of being even more horny. As if sexting weren't enough of a gateway to future pornographers and teen parenthood now they have the ability to send and receive gigs of self-effacing, self-aggrandizing, rape inspiring pornography. All of this happening on phones provided by their wickedly naive parents who, I am certain, feel that this functionality is purely for safety.

3) Auto Body Repair Centers. People are already daft enough to think that they can drive and multitask any number of different activities that will never have a place being completed on the road. The application of make-up, reading, texting, surfing the internet, eating messy food... the list goes on and now we have added the ability to stare at a small LCD screen, carrying on an animated conversation while talking and driving. I would also say that EMT Services and Injury Lawyers will be sharing in this benefit, but given that very few people have been ignorant enough to either get caught or admit to surfing the internet and texting while driving (and causing an accident) the statistics on the number of accidents caused by these activities are woefully, and deceptively, low.

Thank you Apple for helping boost or economy.

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